Paralyzer by Finger Eleven

If you didn't know or haven't figured it out yet, I am a musician. I write and record songs. I play lots of instruments. I don't say all of this to brag, I say it because of the song I am reviewing. "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven may be the worst lyrics of any song I have reviewed yet, and that is saying something because I have already reviewed some Nickelback songs. It is also bad musically. I have heard some boring, very repetitive, very un-musical songs on the radio before, but I usually did not hate those songs instantly. This one, I hated from the first moment my ears were scared by its sound.
This song is basically this: a conversation from one inebriated buddy to another inebriated buddy who went to a club to try to pick up chicks. Now, all of a sudden they don't like the club anymore because they cant "score", and the lack of "scoring"
has nothing to do with the fact that the guys are drunk and treat women like meat, with pick up lines like "my place on your place", no, not at all, it is totally the fault of the "uppity" or pretentious, as he states. Our society has become one of pass the blame. No one takes responsibility for anything that goes wrong in their lives, either personally or professionally. People look for any reason to blame some one or something else for their failure. My friends, this is wrong! I think the reason our society never learns anything anymore is because, in the minds of most Americans, they don't fail anymore. It is always someone else that fails, so there is nothing to learn. This is dangerous, and it leads to really bad music. Back to the song.
The song has many flaws. I probably could name them all, but I am writing a blog and not a book, and I want you to keep reading my blog! I don't care for the music, I will leave it at that.
The lyrics are childish, the music is gradeschoolish, and the vocals are raspy and hideous. I give this song a ( I am actually going to start rating songs so my blog makes more sense, although I still stand behind the rating for any Nickelback song I have rated so far) solid 1.5 out of 10. One point because it has real musical instruments (Backstreet Boys, anyone?) and half a point because I am feeling generous tonight. Thanks for reading.

Paralyzer
I hold on so nervously
To me and my drink
I wish it was cooling me
But so far, has not been good
It’s been s****y
And I feel awkward, as I should
This club has got to be
The most pretentious thing
Since I thought you and me
Well I am imagining
A dark lit place
Or your place or my place

Well I’m not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

I hold out for one more drink
Before I think
I’m looking too desperately
But so far has not been fun
I should just stay home
If one thing really means one
This club will hopefully
Be closed in three weeks
That would be cool with me
Well I’m still imagining
A dark lit place
Or your place or my place

Well, I’m not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

We’ll, I’m not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

I’m not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you