This Passes for Music?

Christmas Songs - Part 1 - Remakes of Classics

2011-12-12T19:08:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry, but somebody had to do it. So why not me here at This passes for music. All of you are probably thinking that I am some sort of Grinch or humbuger or heartless, ruthless vandal (I don't know what I used that last word except I have never used the word vandal in an article before), but I have heard a whole lot of Christmas stinkers this holiday season, and I want to ba-humbug those songs tonight. There are so many good Christmas songs out there, and there are so many good versions of said Christmas songs, that I just don't understand why people think it is okay to either write their own make a classic "their own". It is kind of like buying a Lexus or a Porche and turning it into a Kia (no offense to Kia... well, maybe a little offense to Kia). What is the point? To show that you can be different and original by taking a good song and making it royaly suck? Anyone can do that. You have just somehow figured out how to get paid to stomp on my childhood Christmas celebrations, and you have to be stopped.
I looked around and these are some of the worst offenders that I have found:
Re-Makes
1.Justin Beiber - Little Drummer Boy
I know a lot of people really like him right now, but what can I say? This is almost sickening. It makes may head hurt and I think it makes my allergies worse. I also gives me indigestion and makes me want to punch a kitten, for some reason. I want to pretend it does not exist after I heard it. You will probably feel the same way.

2. Toby Mac featuring Owl City - The First Noel
I am sometimes a fan of Mr. Mac, but I am not a big fan of Owl City nor am I a fan of "hip-hoppin'" up a Christmas song. I think the song was fine the way it was and there was no reason to go and do this to it.

3. Brand New - O Holy Night
If you are falling asleep while singing this song, DON'T SING IT!! And tell your guitar player to get off the pot, cause he is way to mellow. This song sounds like it was recorded accidental, and then ran through a dishwasher, and then dried, and then broken to pieces, and then put back together again and played on a broken record player. Oh, and I think it is very bad.

4. Jingle Bell Rock - Thousand Foot Krutch
Okay, I guess I am not into this style of music, but it seems like a perfectly good waste a cool guitar riff. The song is so unrecognizable, that I am not sure they have ever actually heard the song "Jingle Bell Rock". Maybe this version can be called "Jingle Bells RAWK!!" I don't know, I am out of ideas. Here you go.

5. Angels We Have Heard on High (Funky Version)
I don't think I have to say anything about this one. It speaks for it self.

Okay, Okay, I did not pick all mainstream songs, and there are a million more I could have picked, but I think I proved my point. Next time we will look at Original Christmas songs. I know you can't wait!!

"Best Days of Your Life" Kellie Pickler

2010-10-01T12:33:00.000-07:00

"Cause I'll be there in the back of your mind,
From the day we met to you were makin' me cry"

This song is not so bad musically, in fact it is kind of catchy. But the lyrics are what give me pause. I have listed a line from the song above, which is so confusing in tense that it makes my head spin. How can she still be there if she only was in his mind "from the day we met to you making me cry"? Does that mean she stopped being there when he made her cry, and if so, than how will she still be there unless either
1. He never made her cry or
2. She is no longer there because of said crying.

Either way, I am confused. And that is just the first two lines in the song. Other than the grammar of the song, the theme of the song, a girl shunned and getting back at the ex by writing a song about him and singing it is old hat. It has been done so many times even the artists who record the must be getting tired of singing them. I will admit the song is kinda cute the first few times you hear it, but if you really start listening to it you will see that it is really about a Narcissist who can't stop thinking about how much her ex is thinking about her, ergo, she is the one with the problem, not only can she not let this guy go, but she is so self absorbed that she thinks that the time he spent with her is definitely the best days of this guy's life.
I think that may be overstating it a bit. She is obviously obsessed with this guy, to the point that the new girl should probably be a little worried about the situation. The song, ultimately, shows me the problem with our current society, that being everyone is more interested in themselves that anyone around them. Our society is so self interested it makes me sick!!

Is this the worst song ever? No it is not. I do not like the lyrical structure of the song, the arrogance of the song (and I do realize that this song is tongue in cheek, just in case you were wondering) and I do not like the fact that a lot of girls take songs like this to heart and think it is okay for them to care most about themselves. That is all I have to say about that.

Ke$ha-Keep The Kids Away

2010-09-19T17:23:00.000-07:00

Modern pop music is kind of like cigarettes. You think, they can't be trying to get kids to smoke these things, they wouldn't do something like that, would they? I think the same thing when I listen to modern pop music. Only an idiot (or a parent who has no involvement in their children's lives) or a narcissistic parent would let their children listen to in, and Ke$ha is one of the worst offenders of them all. Her music is kind of like Disney Porn. Her music is catchy and kind of sounds like something Hannah Montana would sing to, but then she says things like "all the boys wanna touch my junk" and the great song, "Take it Off", a song about partying naked at some underground club. Every one of her songs that I have been unfortunate enough to hear on the radio has been 21 or up content (a lot of talk about drinking whiskey and sex) and it is not vague at all.

Here are some examples for you
1. From the song "Booty Call"
Just don't(Don't don't don't)Don't get attached
When I call you up Trying to get some A** all night oh oh oh
Don't want a boyfriend Just want to get some

Yeah yeah yeah I really want To get it On with you
And from the Very second That I saw you Knew you were gonna Be my new Booty call

2. From "Take it Off"
And now we lookin' like pimps
In my gold Trans-Am.
Got a water bottle full of whiskey
In my handbag.
Got my drunk text on
I'll regret it in the mornin'
But tonight
I don't give a
I don't give a
I don't give a

There's a place downtown,
Where the freaks all come around.
It's a hole in the wall.
It's a dirty free for all.

And they turn me on.
When they Take It Off.
When they Take It Off.
Everybody Take It Off.

There's a place I know
If you're looking for a show.
Where they go hardcore
And there's glitter on the floor.

And they turn me on.
When they Take It Off.
When they Take It Off.
Everybody Take It Off.

These are just a few examples of why I do not think anyone under the age of 21 should listen to Ke$ha and why any over 21 should want to listen. Am I wrong, or am I a prude? Let me know in the comments section.

Back From The Brink

2010-09-10T18:59:00.000-07:00

So, You may have noticed that I have not written on this blog in some months. That is because, after listening to all that music that I reviewed, I went crazy and had to be "sent away for healing" or so they said. I am back now, and I have been told not to listen to as much of that music as I did in the months leading up to the white coats coming to take me away. I plan on starting a series on Artist that your kids should never, ever be able to listen to. It will begin next week and be a weekly blog. I hope, in all seriousness, that i have time to keep it up for your information and entertainment. Enjoy. One should be coming sometime next week.

Miley Cyrus - "Can't Be Tamed"

2010-05-05T05:54:00.000-07:00

Here is a girl who is idolized by hundreds of thousands of little girls all over the world, if not millions of girls. She broke on the scene as Hannah Montana as a cute little girl (pictured above) and went from being a little girl to an industry. She started getting discontented about the old age of 15, and wanted to appeal more to an adult audience, because all Disney artists feel like they are not taken seriously. She had a hit song called "The Climb", another hit song called "Party in the USA", but that wasn't enough for Cyrus.
Now, in my opinion, there is a big difference between being a pop artist, and a skanky, gross slut. Not a big difference these days, but there is a difference. Take Christina Agulera, for instance, skanky slut who happens to do music because she has a good voice, but she is all about shock with her songs and videos. Then, on the other side, you have Taylor Swift.
She writes good songs and she dresses like a real person would dress, not like they were about to bed a vampire or something.
And that brings me to the new Miley Cyrus video that I unfortunatly caught a little of last evening.

She is trying to fly past Aguleria in the shock department, becuase, remember, she is only 17! She wants to be grown up soo bad, she skipped by the pop star and went right to the shock and slut campain. I was never a big fan, or never even cared much at all about her, but I have 2 little girls that i promise will never look up to her as a hero. I may use her as an example of what I don't want them to grow up to be like, but never anything else, or any other Disney stars. They all seem to turn out horrible (Spears, Aguleria, Lohan, Cyrus, etc...)
And on top of that, the song sucks. But, I really don't think the song has much to do with Cyrus' meltdown.

Pop Girls Week

2010-02-12T15:25:00.000-08:00

So far, I have only focused on the boys. I was being sexiest and not very politically correct. It is time for that to change. I am going to focus the next week on the ladies of the night, also known as female pop singers. Harsh, you might say, but have you ever actually listened to the lyrics to most of their songs? they would actually make a lady of the night blush. I will hit (and by hit i mean review, so no one accuses me of violence) some "greats" like Pink,
Lady Gaga (I am not actually sure what that is)
Britney Spears and others. I hope to enlighten you as to the terribleness of their music, well, I mostly hope to make you laugh. I hope you enjoy.

Paralyzer by Finger Eleven

2010-02-10T16:42:00.000-08:00

If you didn't know or haven't figured it out yet, I am a musician. I write and record songs. I play lots of instruments. I don't say all of this to brag, I say it because of the song I am reviewing. "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven may be the worst lyrics of any song I have reviewed yet, and that is saying something because I have already reviewed some Nickelback songs. It is also bad musically. I have heard some boring, very repetitive, very un-musical songs on the radio before, but I usually did not hate those songs instantly. This one, I hated from the first moment my ears were scared by its sound.
This song is basically this: a conversation from one inebriated buddy to another inebriated buddy who went to a club to try to pick up chicks. Now, all of a sudden they don't like the club anymore because they cant "score", and the lack of "scoring"
has nothing to do with the fact that the guys are drunk and treat women like meat, with pick up lines like "my place on your place", no, not at all, it is totally the fault of the "uppity" or pretentious, as he states. Our society has become one of pass the blame. No one takes responsibility for anything that goes wrong in their lives, either personally or professionally. People look for any reason to blame some one or something else for their failure. My friends, this is wrong! I think the reason our society never learns anything anymore is because, in the minds of most Americans, they don't fail anymore. It is always someone else that fails, so there is nothing to learn. This is dangerous, and it leads to really bad music. Back to the song.
The song has many flaws. I probably could name them all, but I am writing a blog and not a book, and I want you to keep reading my blog! I don't care for the music, I will leave it at that.
The lyrics are childish, the music is gradeschoolish, and the vocals are raspy and hideous. I give this song a ( I am actually going to start rating songs so my blog makes more sense, although I still stand behind the rating for any Nickelback song I have rated so far) solid 1.5 out of 10. One point because it has real musical instruments (Backstreet Boys, anyone?) and half a point because I am feeling generous tonight. Thanks for reading.

Paralyzer
I hold on so nervously
To me and my drink
I wish it was cooling me
But so far, has not been good
It’s been s****y
And I feel awkward, as I should
This club has got to be
The most pretentious thing
Since I thought you and me
Well I am imagining
A dark lit place
Or your place or my place

Well I’m not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

I hold out for one more drink
Before I think
I’m looking too desperately
But so far has not been fun
I should just stay home
If one thing really means one
This club will hopefully
Be closed in three weeks
That would be cool with me
Well I’m still imagining
A dark lit place
Or your place or my place

Well, I’m not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

We’ll, I’m not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

I’m not paralyzed
But, I seem to be struck by you
I want to make you move
Because you’re standing still
If your body matches
What your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

You’ll probably move right through
Me on my way to you

"Overcome" by Creed

2010-02-08T11:51:00.000-08:00

I don't know if you heard, but Creed is back and they are the same as ever!! I mean it, really I do. This is so similar to the last Creed album that I can't believe they waited so long to put out the same thing. Oh, wait, yes I can. Creed is nothing if not predictable. Well, I am not being fair. It is actually a little different musically, but I just can't get past that voice. Who remembers really liking "My Own Prison" and "What If"? Come on, don't leave me hanging! You know you did. But then they put out "Higher" and it all went down hill from there. They became a "is that a new song or the last one? I just can't tell" kind of band. Everything form "My Sacrifice" to "Weathered" all sounded exactly the same, you could even time when the break down in the song was within a half a minuet or so. They became terrible, or, maybe we all just realized they were terrible. Regardless, we did not like them anymore. And then Scott Stapp became a bit of a drug addict slime ball, and we liked them less. So they took some time off, and regrouped. The guys started "Altered Bridge", which was basically Creed without Stapp, and Scott did his own solo thing.
We were glad they were gone from the mainstream.
It appears that the band misjudged how we would accept them when they came back ( or at least how I would accept them). The first time I heard "Overcome", I actually didn't think it was that bad. But then I put it to the Creed test. I started picking out the same old pattern, minus the breakdown, and then there was still his voice. It was still the same old add extra "r's" into words and have really long "O's" the rest of the time. Not good. And what was the last straw, you might ask? I actually listened to the lyrics. They are not good. I would go as far as to say that they are bad. Real bad. Lines like "I'm entitled to overcome". Why are you entitled? Who entitled you, your mom? If you are trying to make us like you again, tossing out entitlements are probably not the way to do it. Just saying. Also lines like "i’ll be dammed fighting you, it's impossible, impossible! say goodbye, with no sympathy!" I don't even understand that, maybe the label told him he needed a cuss word and some anger in the song so he added this line, I guess we will never know, since I don't really see Creed being the comeback band of the year or anything, so they don't have a lot more albums in their future(at least I hope not!)
This song is bad in short snippets, and it is bad if you listen to the whole thing. It is just a bad, bad song. It gets a -156,229 out of 10.

On a side note, for anyone actually reading my blog, I would love to field suggestions on songs to review. If you have a song you dislike, or if you have a song you like that you want me to tear into, just tell me in the comments section of this blog, and I will be happy to review it, unless of course I like it. This is music that makes me sick, after all. As always, Thanks for reading.

Don’t cry victim to me
everything we are and used to be
is buried and gone
now it’s my turn to speak
it’s my turn to expose and release what’s been killing me.
i’ll be dammed fighting you, it's impossible, impossible!
say goodbye, with no sympathy!

I’m entitled to overcome
completely stunned i'm numb (?)
knock me down throw me to the floor!
there’s no pain i can’t feel no more.
I’m entitled to overcome
overcome!

finally see what’s beneath
everything i am and hope to be
cannot be lost.
I’ll be dammed fighting you
you're impossible, impossible!
say goodbye with no sympathy!

I’m entitled to overcome
completely stunned i'm numb (?)
knock me down throw me to the floor
there’s no pain i can’t feel no more
I’m entitled to overcome
overcome!

overcome!

Break by Three Days Grace

2010-02-05T05:53:00.000-08:00

This is the No. 1 rock song in the country at the moment. People really seem to like it. Do I feel like the kid who is picked last or left out of everything at school because I am one of the only ones that don't like it. No, I do not. I am happy to be left out of this one. Let me tell you why.
This is what I like to call a formula song. Formula songs are songs that follow a pattern that some big wig at "mega records" has had a underling do a poll and figure out what "formula" of song produces the most hits. Then they call in a band, usually one that is not very good and needs to be propped up by the label, and they tell them, "pick your best song, then change it to match this formula. I promise it will produce a hit." That, in most cases, is true. But, in my humble opinion, it has nothing to do with the band or the song or the formula. For crying out loud, Alvin and the Chipmunks
have 45 hit songs or so, so 3 days grace is nothing special with their No. 1. The reason is the way they get dj's to promote and radio stations to play. If the dj tells most idiots that this is the best song they have ever heard, then most idiots are going to think that it is the best song they have ever heard. Simple as that. As a group, we are a people who like to follow the crowd.
This song is catchy, because of said formula. It is lacking the usual uncalled for profanity, so that is a plus. The guitar solo (if you want to call it that) is weak at best, and his voice is that same raspy, yelly, screamy thing that every other rock band is up to right now. The first time I heard this song, I could not figure out the lyrics, because he has that "I can't sing clear words because I am so much cooler than that" disease. The line, "If you can't stand the way this place is take, yourself to higher places" I really thought said If you can't stand the wasted places, take yourself to other places, which would be stupid and moronic. Now, keep in mind, what he actually says is not much better. But it is a little better. I am not disgusted, repulsed, angered, or offended by this song, so I give it a -40 out of 10. (remember, If everyone cared by Nickelback earned a score of -9999999999999999 out of 10) I don't like the hook, the vocals, the guitar "work", or the breakdown in the middle. You wont instantly die if you listen to this song (See "Burn it to the Ground" by Nickelback for instant death songs), but you probably won't go out and buy the CD either.

Break by Three Days Grace
Tonight, my head is spinning
I need something to pick me up
I've tried but nothing is working
I won't stop
I won't say I've had enough
Tonight, I start the fire
Tonight I break away,

Break!
Away from everybody
Break!
Away from everything
If you can't stand the way this place is
Take, yourself to higher places

Oh oh

At night I feel like a vampire
It's not right
I just can't give it up
I'll try to get myself higher
Let's go
We're gonna light it up
Tonight we start the fire
Tonight we break away

Break!
Away from everybody
Break!
Away from everything
If you can't stand the way this place is
Take, yourself to higher places

Oh oh oh

If you can't stand,
The way this place is
Take, yourself, to higher places

Break!
Away from everybody
Break!
Away from everything
If you can't stand the way this place is
Take, yourself to higher places

Oh oh

Higher places,
Oh oh
To higher places,
Oh oh
Higher places,
Take yourself to higher places href="http://">

"Spaceship" by Puddle of Mudd

2010-02-04T11:02:00.000-08:00

Puddle of Mudd, the name of the group says it all. All of their CD's should be thrown in a puddle of mudd. Ever since the classic (that is sarcasm, by the way) "She F*****g Hates Me", this group has been on my radar as one of the worst in music. They were discovered by Fred Durst of Limp Bizket, so you know they are classy. If you have never listened to a Puddle of Mudd song, consider yourself a blessed person or a lucky person. They are very poor songwriters, very poor musicians, and Wes Scantlin's
voice makes me wish that I was listening to someone scraping their fingernails down a chalkboard. That might be harsh, but if you have heard "the Mudd", you know exactly what I mean. For crying out loud, try NOT singing through your nose for one second!!
But I digress. This song is another one of those "clever" ways to say "Hey, I have nothing to sing about and I like sex, so let me come up with the most un-original pick up line I can think of and attempt to craft a song around it!" This is what Scantlin did here. He wants to "get her pannies on the floor" and "take her for a little ride". That not only makes me cringe, but it offends me. Not as a christian or a moral person, but as a songwriter. I am offended that someone can make money off of something that you would hear some guy with the nickname "slick Eddie"
say. The cadence in the song is not to bad, if you enjoy a cadence that you have heard literally over 20 times before. The big thing that "the Mudd" is known for is sounding just like every other trashy rock band out there. They are less original than Creed, and that is saying something. As a side, I am a little creep ed out by the statement "sweat dripping down you little back". The word makes me think he is talking to someone small, as in, not full grown. I am just a little uncomfortable with that line. I know that he needed the words to flow right, but this is one place that a cuss word would have been better. (I can't believe that I really just said that!)
This song is bad. Again, it is not the worst, actually, it may be the worst. If you choose to listen to it, it is around 4 minuets of your life that you can NEVER get back. I am telling you this as a public service announcement.

SPACESHIP by Puddle of Mudd

Yeah .. alright
Now, now now

A long time ago in a galaxy far awasted
I'm basted come on yeah
I’m in the flow and I got all the flavors you tasted
With sweat dripping down your little back

Cause all night long, said
All night long, I been thinking
About how to get your clothes on the floor
All night long, said
All night long, I been drinking
About how to get your panties on the floor

So let’s get it over and just get naked
With sweat dripping down your little back
I’m a Holy roller and I own the spaceship
So let me take you for a little ride
Ride, ride-ey-yea-yea-yeah alright

So I’ve been on the go for so long
I can’t stand up, straight and now tell me
I’m in the flow and I got all the flavors you tasted
With sweat dripping down your little back

Cause all night long, said
All night long, I been thinking
About how to get your clothes on the floor
All night long, said
All night long, I been drinking
About how to get your panties on the floor

So let’s get it over and just get naked
With sweat dripping down your little back
I’m a Holy roller and I own the spaceship
So let me take you for a little ride
Ride, ride

Come on, come on, come on yeah
You know I really want to take you for a little ride
Come on, come on, come on, yeah
You know I really want to take you for a little ride
You know I really want to take you for a little ride
You know I really want to take you for a little

So let’s get it over and just get naked ooh

So let’s get it over and just get naked
I wanna give you everything I got
I’m a holy roller and I own the spaceship
So let me take you for a little ride
Let’s get it over and just get naked
With sweat dripping down your little back
I’m a holy roller and I own the spaceship
So let me take you for a little ride

Come on, come on
Take you for a little ride

"Whiskey Hangover" by Godsmack

2010-02-03T12:21:00.000-08:00

This is modern rock week. I am going to cover some "great" new rock bands and what is wrong with them. I will begin with Godsmack.

I am at least impressed with Godsmack for being honest about why all of their songs are horribly written and don't make a lot of sense. I have always wanted to cover a Godsmack song just to point out that the name Godsmack is a name that I would expect a kid who wants to make his devoutly christian parents angry for the sake of being "tough" and being a "rebel" against what dear old mom and dad believe. Sadly, that is what I think Sully Erna (no wonder he is mad at his parents) is doing here. He is still a so called "tortured kid" at heart, who never grew up and became a man, so he is still rebelling against his parents by calling his band Godsmack and writing nonsensical songs such as "Whiskey Hangover". Okay, you need an example, here you go. "So sick of you preaching all the time, just keep your s****y advice inside" sounds like a line directly aimed at his parents. He wants to sound tough but the song comes off sounding like a person trying to hard to sound tough, like the kid in elementary school who always cussed alot to impress all of his friends, and usually he cussed so much that his friends wound up feeling sorry for him.
All in all, this is not the worst song on the radio today, but it is a sad and depressing look into the "rock star" life and what the mentality of most of the stars are like today, seeing that a lot of bands want to emulate Godsmack. The tune is catchy, the vocals are sub par, and the lyrics are 6th gradeish. If you want to remember the kid that was always being mean
and cussing and being punished by teachers in the Jr. high, I highly recommend listening to this song.

so what if i never wanna be sober?
so what if i wanna be numb all the time?
I cant justify why I'd wanna go slower
taking my time just ain't my style, yeah

I'll walk dead or alive
I'll waste my time whenever I like
I'm feelin okay with my whiskey hangover

So what you cleaned your act up so far
so what if im pissing into the wind (again)?
Have you ever thought that I'm not who you are? (baby)
cause even when i lose i know how to win again and again
So sick of you preaching all the time
Just keep your s****y advice inside

Cause I'll walk dead or alive
I'll waste my time whenever I like
I'm feelin ok with my whiskey hangover
oh yeah yeah
Cause I'll walk dead or alive
I'll waste my time whenever i like
I'm feelin ok with my whiskey hangover
oh yeah
Oh yeah!!
lets go!

One sip ain't gunna do s***
on the 2nd sip i begin to admit
that the 3rd one down is what makes me feel alright
and number 4 i slam down to the floor
by 5 im ready to fight all night
an then 6, 7, 8 to make me break your face (sometimes)

Cause I'll walk dead or alive
I'll waste my time whenever i like
Im feelin ok with my whiskey hangover
oh yeah yeah
cuz I'll walk dead or alive
I'll waste my time whenever i like
im feelin ok with my whiskey hangover
with my whiskey hangover
with my whiskey hangover
with my whiskey hangover
with my whiskey hangover
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah... href="http://">

"Burn it to the Ground" by Nickleback - Caution!! Explicit Lyrics!!!

2010-01-31T14:05:00.000-08:00

I am a professor at the UGM, or, the University of Good Music. I had a student submit me a song that I thought was good enough to get around a 5 out of 100 or so. Then I heard this song and my opinion completely changed and I wound up passing that student in the hopes that maybe he could take over the songwriting for Nickleback. I decided to grade said Nickleback song that changed my mind, so enjoy.

Dear Mr. Kroger,
This is the worst writing I have ever seen, and keep in mind that I run camps for kids to learn how to write songs, and some of their first attempts at songs, which have come back with a grade of 0%, were better than this song that I just graded. My advice, go into “fistfuls of whiskey” and “balls out” activities full time and leave the crappy writing to 7th grade kids with dreams of being cool. At least people can understand why their lyrics suck so bad.

I had to figure out how to do this one, and it was tough!! i hope you all can read it.

"If Today was Your Last Day" by Nickelback

2010-01-30T20:03:00.000-08:00

I have a best friend. He has given me advice from time to time in my life, some I have taken, some I have not. We have known each other for a really long time, well over 20 years. If he ever said one of the things to me that are listed in this song, and was totally serious about, I would never speak to him for the rest of my life. This chorus should say, If Today was a Cliche', and you wanted some money', write down about 400 generic things. Then put it to a catchy tune, have some drums that go boom, and dumb people to it will zoom, If today was your cliche'.
Where do I begin with this song. The cliches' are not even good ones. At least throw in don't go swimming until at least 30 minuets after you eat, or, apple a day keeps the doctor away, or, a penny saved is a penny earned...hey, I am well on my way to a million dollars, the Chad Kroger way!! Does he really believe that people talk to each other this way? Has anyone ever come up to you and said, " hey man, I have the best advice for you, don't take the free ride in your whole life, and live like your never livin' twice." I don't know what you would do if your friend said that to you, but I would sock that guy right in the mouth! Right in the kisser!! Really. I would.

This is another one of those songs I like to call formula songs. It follows a generic, crappy, and super cheesy formula that many bad songs over the last two decades follow, advice songs. They want you to feel like you can learn something from the songwriter other than he is an idiot who only follows the simplest and easiest of rhymes. I give this gem a -9999999999 out of ten, by far the highest ranked of all the Nickelback songs I have ranked, and only because it is the second in a series and i didn't have the heart to rate another Nickelback song under -1 trillion. Oh, yea, the first in the series is that stupid "look at this photograph" song.
I don't like cheap, generic, crappy music, if you haven't figured that out by now. If you like any of these songs, feel free to comment on them and tell me where I am wrong. Since I am a delusional man, I will assume that since I have no comments yet, it is because everyone in the world agrees with me and not because no one is reading my blog. As always, thanks for reading and keep listening to good music.

If Today Was Your Last Day
My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

"If Everyone Cared" by Nickelback

2010-01-27T14:02:00.000-08:00

Do you know what can stop the things that I have pictured here? Careing, Loving, and not lying. Thats right, those three things (and not crying) can stop A-Bombs, war, and death itself. Don't believe me? Nickelback said it and I know that those guys wouldn't lie to me just for a political statement.

"If everyone cared and nobody cried, If everyone loved and nobody lied,
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride, then we'd see the day when nobody died."

In the vein of John Lennon's "imagine", Creed's "Childron, Don't Stop Darncing", and Michael Jackson's "We Are the World", this song attempts to capture a nation at war and tell them that they are the real problem, not the people who want to kill us. If we would give them love instead of shooting back at them, they would stop shooting at us. I would like to see how the Taliban would react if Nickelback traveled to Afganistan and walked onto the battle field armed with love and swallowed pride.
They would be destroyed, and quickly. Our enimies are not fighting us because we don't love and don't care, they are killing us because we are infidels. They hate western culture, not Consertive western culture. The difference between us and are enimies is we do not want to kill them because they are below us some how, which is how they see us.
Although love and pride swallowing is a good thing, it is no way to fight a war. And for the record, all of those other songs I mentioned suck as well.

So, this song is just plain wrong and it is dangerous. People by into the whole "Bush lied, people died" thing, and Nickelback is just trying to make a quick buck off if it. Sad, disgrasful, and dangerous. I give this song -1000000000000000000 out of 10. Good Night.

Lyrics:
If Everyone Cared lyrics

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

[Chorus:]
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

And I'm singing Amen

Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive
Amen I, Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive

And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We'll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
(I'm alive)

[Chorus x2]

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
When nobody died...

[Chorus]

We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day when nobody died

Never Gonna Be Alone - Nickelback

2010-01-26T14:33:00.000-08:00

When I first heard this song, I was sure that I had heard it before. I knew I had to be wrong because the DJ said "and now, here is the latest from Chad and the guys", which i guess is what cool D's call Nickelback. Then the familiar acoustic guitar which begins all of Nickle back's "love" songs, Chad throatily says "Time, is going by, so much faster than I, and I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you" Nice rhyme. Okay, Okay, let me try one, set to the same tune as this classic: "I, really want to die, every time that this guy, writes another hit song it really makes me want to cry!" Wow, i just came up with that in 18 seconds. I bet it took Chad a little more time, because I am sure he really puts his heart and soul into all of his love songs. I will explain that statement later when I review one of their "rock" songs.
This song is bad on 2 levels:
1. Musically- it is just like every other "band" song on the radio. It lacks originality, and it lacks talent.
2. Lyrically- it reminds me that I forgot once again to leave my car running in the garage while sitting in it with the garage door shut. Lines like "If you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall" and "When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on, We're gonna see the world out." We're gonna see the world out? What, the world won't leave and they are going to make it leave forcefully? "I'm sorry, world, but it is really time for you to go! Honey, get the world's jacket, oh, and by the way, I'm gonna be there always"

The song structure is bad, but who can we really blame for that. The sales for this song are through the roof, because I am one of the few that just cant take this stuff anymore. It is time for songs to be about more than selling albums (or, Cd's as the kids call them) and more about having something to say. I think that this song is a horrible love song, but the majority of people do not. Of course, the majority of people also think titanic was a good movie, so what do they know?

Anyways, I hope you enjoy my little rant, I will continue until I get tired of it, or until wee run out of bad songs on the radio... HAHAHAHHAAHAHAH like that would ever happen!!

Time, is going by, so much faster than I,
And I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you.
Now I'm, wondering why, I've kept this bottled inside,
So I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...

[Chorus]
Never gonna be alone!
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall...
Never gonna be alone!
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

[Verse 2]
And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands,
'Cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you,
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...

[Chorus]
Never gonna be alone!
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall.
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.
We're gonna see the world out,
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

[Verse 3]
Oh!
You've gotta live every single day,
Like it's the only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Don't let it slip away,
Could be our only one, you know it's only just begun.
Every single day,
Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Tomorrow never comes...

[Verse 4]
Time, is going by, so much faster than I,
And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...

[Chorus]
Never gonna be alone!
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall.
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.
We're gonna see the world out,
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

I'm gonna be there always,
I won't be missing one more day,
I'm gonna be there always,
I won't be missing one more day.

Nickelback Week

2010-01-25T16:43:00.000-08:00

I have decided that I will start out this blog with a bang, by doing one a day for a whole week. And what better way to start off a blog dedicated to bad, reprehensible, dirty, nasty, and otherwise undesirable "music" then to dedicate an entire week to one of the worst, Nickelback. His lyrics are 3rd gradeish, his melodies were original in the 80's, oh, wait, no they weren't, his vocals make we want to clear my thought, and his look makes me want to shower. Nickelback took to the pat tented one song style that Creed brought us and improved on it. They gave us two songs! WOW! I will focus on both songs this week, the "Love" songs, and the "Rock" songs. Please feel free to point out where I am wrong and tell me what a great band Nickle back is, so I can be sure to block you from my blog and never become friends with you. I am looking forward to getting some much needed stress off of my back by ripping into these so called bands, and the record executives who sell music to the lowest common denominator, and all i hope is that you get some sort of enjoyment out of reading what I get enjoyment and stress relief out of writing.